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  Bush Accepts Responsibility! Sort of...

September 13, 2005: At a press conference today, President Bush said that he takes responsibility for any federal failure in the response to Hurricane Katrina. Earlier today, the White House released a statement that President Bush has gone on another vacation.

An excerpt from the White House statement:
President Bush, who is extremely tired from doing more than one thing at a time, has decided to go on an extended vacation on his Texas ranch. That should not be a cause of concern for the American people. The White House has found a stunt double for the President. His stunt double will conduct a press conference later today with Iraq's President and deliver a prime time address from Louisiana later tonight.

Meanwhile, a senior White House official, who preferred to remain anonymous because he orchestrated two successful presidential elections, told this reporter that President Bush' stunt double accepting responsibility really means nothing. According to the source, investigations will be manipulated to show that there were no federal failures in the response to Hurricane Katrina. Just like Donald Rumsfeld's accepting responsibility for Abu Ghraib meant nothing because they just blamed the privates and corporals. In the event of a catastrophic failure in manipulating the investigation, they will just blame Mike Brown, the now former head of FEMA, the source said.

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