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  Bush in New Orleans, At Last

September 12, 2005: When President Bush toured the devasted city of New Orleans today, angry mobs of reporters wanted to know why it took him two weeks to visit the city.

"Due to national security concerns and certain classified provisions of the Patriot Act, I was unable to visit New Orleans until today. Besides, what kind of photo op does it make with thousands of dying, dirty, smelly, hungry, thirsty, and angry poor and underprivileged people yelling at me? Even the lowest farm hand on my ranch showers at least three times a day and only yells at me when I'm about to ride off a cliff on my mountain bike," he said.

President Bush also announced that he will tour the Houston Astrodome as soon as all the evacuees have left. "I do not want to interfere with the handing out of Red Cross debit cards," he said.

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