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  Dick Cheney to Undergo Surgery

September 17, 2005: The White House announced that Vice President Dick Cheney will have surgery next weekend to repair an aneurysm behind his right knee.

A senior official in the Vice President's office, who preferred to remain anonymous because he never worked for Halliburton, told this reporter that the surgery has nothing to do with an aneurysm.

"In the interest of national security we chose 'aneurysm' because nobody can spell it, even fewer people know what it means, and there's not a word for it in Arabic. The Vice President is going to have his defibrillator (Ed: try saying that after six beer) removed. In the place of the defibrillator the surgeons are going to implant a defibbelator," the source said.

When this reporter asked what a 'defibbelator' is and why, the source explained, "A defibbelator is a device implanted in the voice box. It sends a small electric current into the brain stem every time the person tells a lie. Mr Cheney's defibbelator will be powered by a microscopic nuclear power plant. As to why -- defibbelator is easier for President Bush to pronounce in his speeches."

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