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  FLASH: CNN Reporter Killed on Live Television

Beaumont, TX: CNN reporter Mark Butcher was decapitated today by a flying stop sign while doing his live report on Hurricane Rita from Beaumont. Said CNN producer John Santori, "It was stunning reality tv. This is exactly what we've been hoping for every time we've sent our reporters to stand in front of the cameras in hurricane force winds. Ratings are through the roof." An unnamed spokesman from MSNBC issued a terse statement: "We envy them."

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