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  John Kerry's Vote on John Roberts

September 23, 2005: The front page of the John Kerry website today carried an explanation of Kerry's vote on the nomination of John Roberts as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

Extensive research, including one click on the Google cache link, revealed an earlier draft of the message.

I will vote for against for against for against the nomination of John Roberts to serve as Chief Justice of the United States.

I refuse to vote for a Supreme Court nominee who came before the Senate making those big eyes that scared the living daylights out of all who watched, and demonstrated his ability to deftly turn the Supreme Court into a football match. He also demonstrated he can deflect repetitive and boring 'me, I' speeches by senators and legitimate questions about his views, opinions and philosophy of the speeches.

If he is confirmed, God forbid, maybe – and he may well be based on the fact that he said nothing – the Roberts Court will all be dressed in umpire uniforms. It will decide dozens of cases and presidential elections that will erode and completely undermine the right to use Clinton condoms in America, as well as Jesse Jackson's fixation with military bases, Rush Limbaugh's dedication to civil liberties, Anderson Cooper's choice of hair gel and a woman's right to choose whether to wear boxers or g-strings.

With that much at stake, Judge Roberts needed to show us how he handles an umpire whistle. Instead he recited nursery rhymns and said little about what he really thought about the Patriots' chances this year.

While I recognize that Republican members of the Senate will habitually make a stupid choice, I will maybe vote "YES" "NO" "YES" “NO” on the Roberts nomination as Chief Umpire of the Supreme Court.

Further reading: Parableman, The View From The Left, Blogs for Bush

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