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  USA Files for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy Protection

September 21, 2005: Congress voted today 400 - 33 in favor of the United States Government filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. The Senate approved the bill in a 96 - 4 vote. President Bush begrudgingly signed it into law early this afternoon.

"We never anticipated that this would happen in the United States," the President noted, and added, "and least of all under my watch. However, the war in Iraq and Katrina forced us to accumulate record deficits. Hurricane Rita looks set to destroy the remainder of the Gulf Region. It is my sworn duty as President to protect America. Even though it pains me to sign this bill, I must protect the United States against the Axis of Debt, namely the central banks of China, Japan, United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia, and Korea."

Describing it as the first preemptive strike in the War on Debt, the President also cautioned that it will be a long war. "It will take decades, and we will stay the course. We will prevail," he said.

In a statement, House Majority Leader Tom DeLay said, "It is business as usual. We are moving forward with making tax cuts permanent, repealing estate tax, and approving spending bills. The Chapter 11 filing will give us time to work out a deal with the foreign central banks."

When asked for comments, General Honore said, "The politicians in Washington? Read my lips. They are stuck on stupid."

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