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  Drug Dealer Sues Department of Education

Halifax: Small time drug dealer Tony Pazzeto sued the Nova Scotia Department of Education today for not adequately preparing him for his chosen profession.

Mr. Pazzeto has been in the local news over the last ten years for several arrests, including selling drugs to minors, intimidation of a senior citizen, attempted murder, and running a red light.

Said Pazzeto's lawyer: "My client feels the Nova Scotia educational system is responsible for him being arrested so many times and is seeking compensation for lost revenue. If he had been adequately prepared for his profession he would not have been caught and arrested at all."

Speaking under advisement from his lawyer, Pazzeto explained that his time in school was wasted with irrelevant subjects like Geography, History, and English to name a few. The only subjects he found remotely relevant were Algebra to the level of addition and subtraction, and Biology for knowing where the vital organs are located.

Pazzeto elaborated further: "What would have prepared me better would have been subjects like Advanced Driving Skills, Shaded Window Installation, Street Corner Lurking, Intimidation Techniques, Assassination Methods, Gangster Etiquette, Advanced Shooting Skills, and Authority Evasion. But no, they wasted my teenage years with crap like teaching me how to speak my native language."

Lawyers for the Department of Education said that they saw some merit in Pazzeto arguments but they will mount a vigorous defense nonetheless.

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