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  MacDonald’s and Starbucks Lobby Stupid Consumer Act

Washington: Lobbyists representing MacDonald’s, Starbucks and several other companies in the fast food industry are lobbying members of Congress for the introduction of what they call the Stupid Consumer Act.

A similar bill, the Personal Responsibility in Food Consumption Act, also known as the Cheeseburger Bill, was voted down in the Senate in 2004. The Act aimed to protect producers and retailers of foods from an increasing number of suits and class action suits by obese consumers.

The Stupid Consumer Act will go much further in protecting company rights than the Cheeseburger Bill.

In addition to allowing the companies to sue consumers for being bloody morons, it also introduces mandatory IQ and dexterity tests that must be administered by fast food outlets before allowing consumers to purchase their lethal products, like hot coffee.

For protection against abuse of fattening foods, the Act requires food outlets to track the calorie intake of their customers and deny service when the threat level turns red in the customer's record on the cash register.

Also mandatory is the replacement of the line-up area with a giant treadmill or an adapted version of the Stairmaster.

"The Stupid Consumer Act has the best interest of the consumer as its goal," said one of the lobbyists.

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