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  Russia Begs USA, Deport All Our Political Commissars

Moscow: President Vladimir Putin directed an urgent appeal to President George Bush today for the United States to send back all Russia's political commissars.

After the demise of the Soviet Union and introduction of democracy in Russia, hundreds of Soviet political commissars found themselves out of work and emigrated to the United States to look for brighter futures.

Life in the USA was tough for them at first, but since 2001 they have found themselves in high demand again in the U.S. public sector.

Demand for their skills is illustrated by a Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER) news release on October 13, 2005:

The National Park Service has started using a political loyalty test for picking all its top civil service positions... Under the new order, all mid-level managers and above must also be approved by a Bush administration political appointee.

Russia recognizes that its political agenda is spinning out of control and lacks fundamental implementation energy due to the loss of its political commissars.

"We understand that the United States also needs political commissars," said President Putin, "but they can use their own citizens. We are willing to train them. However, we desperately need our commissars back here."

A spokesman for the Chinese government said they are withdrawing the passports of their political commissars to prevent them from abandoning their jobs and going to work for the Bush administration at much higher salaries.

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